I had overwhelming proof that John Henry Putt was my biological father. I had now achieved my objectives of establishing my full heritage. Was this sufficient for my needs?

I thought hard and long about the next step. I had found out from research that John Henry Putt – who died in 1967 in Kingsbridge, Devon, aged 61 – had been married with three children. He had been nearly twenty years older than my mother, a detail corroborated from the contents of a rare conversation concerning my father that my mum once had with my wife.  

Two of my siblings were born before me, the other after me. The older brother had since died, but his sister and brother were shown on Ancestry records as still being alive. Upon further investigation, I found a voting registration address from six years previous for the youngest son. Should I utilise this information and try to contact him?

I hesitated in making the move. I asked myself “Would I want to know if the situation was reversed?”. There had been a long period in my life when the answer would have been a firm “No”. However, there was always the chance that my news would be welcomed. Indeed, his family may have known of my existence and even tried to find out about me. I decided to send the letter.  

As this would come out of the blue, I knew this letter would have to be well crafted. I decided to format a personal letter to him and then seal this inside an envelope marked “Private. For the attention of XXXX or his nearest relative only”. I then placed this envelope inside a letter with the request to the recipient that this envelope be passed on whole to the named addressee or, failing that, be destroyed without opening. I put both items inside a further envelope marked care of the address I had discovered from the voting register returns.

The letter itself contained a short explanation of who I am and the route I had used to establish that John Henry Putt was my biological father. I stated that this news may come as a surprise and, if so, I apologised for any unease this may cause. I mentioned that, as a former military person, I know that arrangements for payment of child maintenance – which my mother received until I was 16 – could kept confidential by military authorities. I gave my contact details and invited him to get in touch with his slightly older sibling if he wished. I posted the package off and waited.

Around a month later I received an A5 white envelope containing a computer-typed letter and a photograph. My half-brother acknowledged my message, stating that this was all a complete surprise to him. He wrote that he was no longer at the address I had used, before commenting that his father had been a very dour man who had never displayed real warmth to anyone. For this reason, he found it hard to believe that he had been capable of showing affection towards my mother. He went on to protest that research of this type through Ancestry and military sources should not be allowed, although he sympathised with my position. He then asked that I do not try to contact him or his family again. This was May 2018. I have honoured this request.

Two things nevertheless were noticeable in his response: he accepted the possibility of my account and sent me a photograph of our father in military uniform. (Copy below, showing John Henry Putt – wearing the rank of a REME warrant officer – being addressed on parade by an army brigadier). He explained further details of his life, which will remain private, which accounted for his refusal to continue contact with me. I fully appreciate these explanations. It is the reason why neither he nor his kin are named here or featured on my website tree.  

In recent years there have been popular programmes on TV where missing siblings have been happily reunited with family members through targeted genealogy and DNA research. Unfortunately, there was no such happy ending for me, which I find a shame, as I would have liked the Devon relatives to get to know my family. But if there’s one thing that maturity brings, it’s the ability to judge events with the comment “Such is life”. That’s applicable here.

There was one happy conclusion though. In September 2019 I received a private response on Ancestry from Stacey the daughter of Derek Olver – my indicated 2nd Cousin – to a message I had left on the site two years earlier. She explained that Derek was her father and that he had taken a DNA test out of curiosity but not progressed this. Only when she decided to look at the site did she find my message.  

Through an exchange of posts, I explained that I had built up a tree for him and apologised that I had done this without his permission. Stacey said not to worry and that she was most interested in what I had done, to the extent that she copied my findings onto a new tree for her father. (Research shows that my 2x great-grandparents Richard and Emma Gillard are Derek Olver’s great-grandparents).

Stacey left elated at the prospect of finding a personal route to royalty. (“Doing a Danny Dyer” as it is now known). At least one Devonian was pleased to hear from me.

Final note: The Leonard DNA Devon tree can be reached through the hyperlink https://www.ancestry.co.uk/family-tree/tree/115858305/family/familyview.